Thursday, January 21, 2010

How many childless couples do you know?

and if you could state their average ages too that would be cool...





Like how many over 20, over 30, over 40 etc.





I'm just wondering how common is it to be childless? Is it by choice or infertility? I don't really know many childless couples... I can think of... two over 40. How many childless couples do you know?
Wow, I know tons. Here in Santa Cruz it is quite common. I think a lot of people don't get together until it might be too late for kids. And a lot have lifestyles that aren't that conducive, or they just don't want to cramp their style. Or they just don't like them. And then I know a lot of gay couples, so having kids is a bit more difficult.





I wonder why it is different where you are? Just speculating here, but this is a very expensive place to live, and finding a place you can afford rent for that would work for a family can be tricky as jobs don't pay all that well. Also a lot of people live here because it is a beach town and they don't want to be tied down, perhaps, either to kids or a real job that might curtail their surfing or coffeehouse hanging out.





ETA:


Um, it could also be that I'm just old, lol! Now that I think of it, some of the couples I'm thinking of might actually have kids -- just grown up ones! Still, there are a lot of couples I know that don't want kids. Of course now that we are parents we don't hang out as much.





If I get a chance, I'll try to see if I can look up the general demographics of this.








ETA:


Okay, here are some demographics:


';The decline in married-couple families with children has been especially evident, falling from 40 percent of all households in 1970 to 24 percent in 2000. At the same time, the share of married couples without children remained relatively stable, accounting for 30 percent of all households in 1970 and 29 percent in 2000.';





So it seems that there are, at least, more couples without kids than there used to be -- 29% of households. That number would include empty-nesters, though, I believe.


That quote was from the Census bureau:


http://www.census.gov/population/www/pop鈥?/a>


Also see this document:


http://www.census.gov/population/www/pop鈥?/a>





I didn't find an age breakdown, but I didn't look too hard. If you want to look more, I was last seen using this search in Google:


';couples without children'; age site:census.gov





Email me if you really want me to try to sink my teeth into this.How many childless couples do you know?
I actually know quite a few. What you have to remember here though is that I am in the gay culture. We are somewhat of an oddity to have kids and the only gay couple I know of to have 7 kids. It is becoming more common for gay people to seek ways to have children, though. I go to a support group for gay parents while the kids go to their own support group for having gay parents, and there are about 10 couples. I know childless couples of all ages. Most of the people I know in my culture that are parents are in their 20s.
Off the top of my head I can think of four couples that I am relatively close to who are childless.


Couple #1) early 50s, childless by choice. The wife once told me that she felt she was ';too selfish'; to have children. I told her that wasn't selfish; it was realistic and admirable.


Couple #2) early 40s (recently divorced from each other, however). The wife has endometriosis and always assumed she couldn't get pregnant, so they never really tried to have kids. They were married 8 years.


Couple #3) early and mid-40s, childless by choice. Perfectly happy with their nieces and nephews.


Couples #4) early and mid-40s. It's my opinion that the wife has always secretly wanted a child but knew her husband didn't (they have been married 21 years), so she just stayed quiet about it.





I am the only one of my friends who had difficulty conceiving. In fact, I wasn't able to! I'll be 40 next week. That's probably why all of the people I've listed are ';older.';
Most of the couples who I know don't have children. I can think of seven couples off the top of my head, all ranging in age from their mid-20's to their early-30's. I'm sure if I thought about it longer I could probably think of a few more.


To my knowledge, one of the seven couples suffers from infertility, but I'm really unsure about the rest. I suppose it has something to do with the subculture we fit into, but only two of my close friends from high school (graduated 12 years ago) are now parents.



I know a few childless couples, most over 20, we (my husband and I) are 30 and I know probably two childless couples over 40.





Most of the people I know are not childless.





We are...childless by choice sort of. His choice, not mine, he is ';not ready'; whatever that means :) Someday I hope that we will be parents, if not we will be foster parents to teenagers. I could go into great details about our situation but I won't bore you.





The younger childless couples I know are childless by choice, and one of the over 40 couples is childless by choice. The other over 40 couple lost their child to cancer, so they are not childless by choice. I don't know what their plans are for the future, as I hate it when people ask me why I am not a parent ';yet'; and I would hate it even more if I had lost a child tragically. They were amazing parents, and it sucks this happened to them.
I have two aunts who are childfree by choice, they are both in their late 50's but made the choice to be childfree in their early twenties. I know two couples dealing with infertility both in their mid 30's. I know numerous 20 something couples who are currently childfree by choice, I would imagine at least a few will be TTC within a year or two.
I know a few. Some are in their 30's, some in their 40's. I know one couple that is in their early 50's and are childless by choice. My friend and her soon to be husband are childless but that is because she has fertility issues but she is considering not having any children anyways. I have a few aunts and uncles that are childless by choice or by infertility.
I know three two are by choice on couple is in there 50's the other is mix she is 37 and he is 46 The last is a newly wed couple in there 20's and the wife is not sure if she wants children and for sure does not want them now.


Other than that all couples i know have kids. many people i know started trying to get pregnant the week before the wedding. Many of the single people i know have kids or want them at some point.


I know two couples with fertility problems one did the fertility drugs and had twins the other tried invtro and fertility for two years then adopted
As a child, my family was very close with another couple. I grew up calling them ';Aunt'; and ';Uncle'; even though they was no legal or biological relationship between us. They were childless. My mother once asked why they didn't have children. It turned out that the wife was infertile. When my mother asked if they'd looked into adoption, she stated that they didn't believe in it. So, they remained childless. They are now in their late 70's.





My family was also close friends with my father's boss. I got to know the couple quite well. They were in their late 30's / early 40's during the time I knew them. They were childless by choice and planned on remaining that way.





As a couple, my husband and I are childless in the most technical sense, in that we have no children together. However, in the broader sense, we are not, as he has two sons from his previous marriage. My not having children was definitely not by choice. I am infertile.





One of my closest friends, in her 50's, recently divorced her husband. They never had children. It was by his choice. She went along with it to make him happy, but now regrets it.
3-Over 40 (I know 1 is by choice I don't know about the other 2)





4-30's (don't know)





tons-20's (Majority by choice)





And my husband and I are a childfree couple. (Childless means you don't have kids -yet- while childfree means you do not have children nor do you plan to have children)
Hardly any. My sister-in-law doesn't have any (her husband was fixed before they even got married). And maybe three or four other couples. Some by choice, some are infertile. All forty or over. I'm not counting my peers (we're in our late twenties) because most of them are planning to have children.





Eta: I've lived in IN for most of my life but spent a few months living in Atlanta GA and there were far more childless couples there than here.
I have known quite a lot who were childless due to infertility issues. Most either adopted or had kids by the time they were in their forties. I do know two childless couples (my brother is one) who have chosen never to have kids. Interestingly, in both cases, one of the partners is an adoptee. Both are couples over 40.
Regarding children, I know about 3 ';childless'; couples and 2 ';childless'; singles all above the age of 35 who do not want children, ever.


---------------


Some of those people said ';Better you than me!'; when they found out I was adopting my son. I just think that life is so awesome with a child in your world.
childless=not able to conceve (1) in there late 20's


ChildFree=choosing not to have a child (1) in there 50's





If I would have answerd this 4 months ago I was childless but have been blessed with a foster child we are in the process of adopting.
My sister and her husband, largely due to choice (his) and she loved him so she went along until the time had passed. Now she is okay with it, but it will always be a sadness. They are in their early 50's.
Hi Gershom,





Hmmmm hardly any. One couple in their 30's are childless but plan to have children in the future. The other couple i met at a party once were in their late 30's who decided to not have children.
One that I can think of. Not sure of their ages. She looks to be late 30's, he looks well into his 40's, but I'm a terrible judge of age. They have no plans to have kids.
About 10 couples. I think it's bec. of infertility, not choice. They really really wanted to have a child but couldn't conceive.
My best friend and her husband have planed to be childless. They are in their late 20 and early 30. Her biological is starting to tic and has changed her mind on wanting to stay childless.
My husband and I are childless. We've been married 9 years and still haven't been able to get pregnant. So this isn't by choice. We're in our mid 30's.
2. One plans to TTC in November and the other is having fertility issues.
2- both in early 20's. one couple is ttc the other is not.
most of my friends, but they are all in their mid-twenties and just settling down.
I know three childless women, two of whom are married.








One couple is childless by choice. THey simply have no desire to have kids, but they're considering adopting an older child (school age). I doubt they'll do it, but she's talked about it. She had parents who weren't very ';parental'; (her biological parents, too, what are the odds that she considers THEM crappy LOL!!) She talks endlessly of waking up Sunday mornings and stepping over all the people passed out from the party at her house.. ask her why she wears glasses, she'll tell you it's because the pot smoke in the room was so thick she had to sit 2'; from the TV. Because he mother wasn't very ';motherly'; I think she thinks she won't be very ';motherly'; either and won't make a good mom, especially in the infant stage.





One couple I believe shortly after they got married the wife had to have an emergency surgery that left her unable to carry a child. It was not her choice. She just has bad luck with her health. I roomed with her in college and she spent most of her time in pain from ulcers. She's weak and never been healthy. They're both sweet people and would make great parents.





The third female I know has known since she was 16 that she'll never produce eggs, ergo, never conceive. Genetic condition, nothing she's ';screwed up'; by waiting too long. She's a very maternal type person and would make a great mother. She had a great mother, so she knows what that means. I'm closer to this girl's mom than I am to my own mom. Many of her friends are, so that says something. The daughter's still single, but wants a family some day. She's fine with adoption, she's accepted that she'll never have biological children. She's not trying to ';replace'; anything or ';cure'; anything, she just wants a family.. She's told me she doesn't feel she has a ';right'; to anyone else's child, she just wants to find a child that needs a loving mother.





All women are under age 31. Specifically in the order of stories I've told, the women's ages are 24, about 31, and 28





Kinda blows your theories out of the water, huh?

No comments:

Post a Comment