Do any engaged couples bicker over money?

K... We only got our first joint account for bills and it seems like he is constantly accusing me of taking money out of it. We have our own spending accounts and his accusations are starting to get annoying. He will call me in the middle of work and ask why there is money gone from the account... when I pay bills or something like that. I am starting to get super annoyed and am starting to question if I can spend the rest of my life with someone breathing down the back of my neck about spending our money... Am I overreacting or is this normal?Do any engaged couples bicker over money?
You could have the joint account in both your names so both of you have to sign the cheque to pay for things, although that can be annoying. Are you just taking out the exact amount needed for the bill or are you rounding up b/c that looks suspicious and isn't really right. An easy way to avoid this is to have everything automatically debited to your account. You don't have to pay for anything, the company automatically takes it out of your joint account and everyone is happy.





EDIT: I would put him in charge of finances. I am the one in charge in my relationship and I like to know where the money is going. I wouldn't call myself a control freak but if I see something I don't recognize on the statement I like to find out what it was.





EDIT2: Yes, my bf and I bicker about money. I try not to but it seems like everytime I mention anything about money we fight. We had a joint account and he stole thousands out of it and that broke the trust between us in matters of money. Talk to your fiance and show him where the money is going and coming. Let him pay the bills or sit down with him and show him what you are paying and how much. Work it out, because fighting over money sucks.Do any engaged couples bicker over money?
A joint account is just one of the things you will have to share for the rest of your lives.





Yes, there is usually a period where you get used to each others habits and argue a bit. This should pass after communication.





If you guys can't work it out, well... you are going to have a world of issues in every aspect of life where you have to share or work together and I hate to say it, but when things stay broken, it almost always ends up in divorce court.





Letting one person make all the decisions and run the show completely is not good either. I handle the actual paying of bills and monitoring the accounts, but my husband is always aware of how much we have and where it is going. Teamwork makes it work.
If he is such a control freak over the joint account let him handle it! Seriously though. Sit down with eachother when it is time to pay bills. This is how much money we are starting with, this is how much we are spending this is what we are left over with. Then budget groceries and all that in too. When creating a joint account it is sometimes hard to give up controll of your assets. Talk to him.





Good luck!
We never have and never will argue about money. It's trivial. If you have an account together, you discuss who will pay the bills and when they are due to ensure they get paid. I don't see where any other argument is necessary. Sounds like you guys need to talk! If you guys can;t even get this straightened out before you're married how will you handle bigger issues in your future?





Good luck!
Keep the checks and ledger at home so that if he wants to know then he can look at it. Tell him what bills came in and that you are paying them. Communicate about bills and money. If you still have a problem them let him handle the bills. But he will need to ask you for the amount he needs to pay them and whatever is left you get to keep in your account.
Money is the number one issue couples argue about. Get used to it if you want to get married.
We don't bicker over it so much as discuss, but I have gotten angry about him checking my receipts to see how much I've spent when for a long time I was only one who had a job.
Better not be the one to pay bills. He may want to do it himself. Study him
don't share a joint account. problem solved. what if god forbid you two split? just keep money separate
Money is the number one things couples argue about. Of course it's normal to disagree over what your income should be spent on. This is why my fiance and I have our own accounts for our little bit of spending money, and a joint account for bills, etc. (like you and your fiance). I just know that without the spending money ';allowances';, we would be arguing over what our extra money that is not saved should be spent on ... he would come home with fishing equipment or tools, and I would come home with clothes or makeup. So I think you started off well with the three bank accounts.





However, the fact that he accuses you of basically ';stealing'; money from the joint account bothers me. I would be worried about the fact that A) he doesn't trust you, and B) the two of you must be losing money on something or calculating the bills improperly if there is money missing when he checks the account. The easy fix would be to just let him do the banking for that account - paying the bills and whatnot. But that wouldn't solve the problem with him not trusting you. It would rear its ugly head again somewhere else in your relationship. If he keeps it up, I would get some couples or premarital counseling to get the issue under control. You don't want this to end up being something you seek a divorce over later ... and unfortunately issues related to money are also the number one cause of divorce.
Because I am a control freak I'm the one who manages our joint account. I will often get text messages/calls/questions at home from my HTB about where money is going, what bills need to be paid, and how much money we really have. I don't think of it as being accusatory, I think of it as him just protecting our money.





Is there a way you two can talk and work out something so you're both comfortable?? Maybe you'll store a detailed ledger of the account at home. Maybe he'll word his questions differently. There has to be some way to work this out, if not it is a bit of a sign that married life might be difficult for the two of you.
me and my partner argue about money and bills the whole time it seems like a day doesnt go past without us arguing about one bill or another. I like to pay a bill as soon as i recieve it where as my partner waits until he gets a reminder. For this reason i pay many of the bills. We had a joint account for about a year but it really wasnt working out if there was a difference in the phone bill, electricity bill etc he would question why it was different to the previous month. Now we just pay the bills out of our own accounts. I pay mine outa my account when i get the bill and he pays his outa his account when he gets the reminder thus keepin us both happy. Also a benefit of this is that any money left in your account at the end of the month is yours to spend or save what ever way you so choose.





Also i would recommend that you sit down with a dairy or calendar and write down what bills are due to be paid and when so that you are both aware of when you have very few bills to pay and when there is a lot.





When ever you dont have to many bills to pay ie there is a little extra money available plan a day out for you and your partner go paint ballin, racing, bowlin etc somethin that you will both enjoy and will bring you a little closer.
I know some guys that are extremely anal about their money. Getting a joint account is a very trying experience for both. If you are spending money on bills, he should be able to see an itemization that this is where the money is distributed. He might be overreacting to the simple adjustment process. I have a friend that it got so bad, they had to dissolve the joint account, keep their separate ones, and pay their halves of the house,utility, etc bills in two checks. I would not recommend this, but if you keep the joint account, you can compromise and just put in your half of your joint bills together and let him pay everything out of it. You can then in turn use your own personal account to pay your car, your credit cards, cell phone, etc.





This is totally workable, just communicate and make compromises according to what works.