How do most couples pay for a wedding without their parents help?

My fianc茅 and I are paying for our wedding out selves (approximately $20,000) with little or no help form our parents. Besides the obvious (save, do it small etc.), I am wondering how other couples have paid for their own wedding? Do you put it on the charge card? Tap the 401K? Refinance the house? Also why did you choose to pay for things in that way?





I have looked and nothing gives realistic ideas for fanatically independent people. I am not looking for answers like just don't spend a much, save for it, cut back on the guest list or ask Mommy and Daddy.How do most couples pay for a wedding without their parents help?
My husband and I paid for our wedding ourselves ($25,000). We had an engagement party and many of the guests gave us money as a gift which we put towards the wedding costs. We had a small wedding(125 people) and it was no way UNREALISTIC.





We made a budget and planned accordingly. We used our credit card but paid it off right away. We didn't splurge on anything over the top but we got exactly what we wanted. We allowed ourselves to splurge on one thing and that was our rings, we will have them forever so I didn't care if they put us in debt (which they didn't). I made my church programs and favors. I didn't choose a hall unless it was under the limit I wanted to spend a plate. I didn't get a wedding album with 100 pictures that I couldn't carry. I got one that had 50 pics in it. Stuff like that you can do. Also, most companies (DJ, photography, videography, flowers) have payment plans so you don't have to pay them all at once. We spread out our payments with them so we weren't paying everyone all at once.





It's definitly worth it, paying for the wedding yourselves. If my parents paid for it then it would have been THEIR wedding and not mine. It was the best decision my husband and I could have made.





Good luck to you!How do most couples pay for a wedding without their parents help?
I would not tap the 401K, that will only hurt you in the future.





I would also not use any type of credit card, unless it was directly taken from your bank accounts.





We set aside money each paycheck as well as use our income tax refunds to pay for our wedding.
You already know the answer: set a budget where you can pay everything in cash, and as of the day of the wedding, it is 100% paid off. (Or alternatively, put any charges on your credit card with the firm commitment to pay it off the same month the charge is incurred.)





If you are fanatically independent (good for you!) you already have good habits, and you know that tapping into a retirement plan, running up a credit card balance at 18% interest, or adding to mortgage debt is a hideous way to begin your new lives together. Debt = stress on your relationship. Please don't underestimate the impact that financial disagreements have on married couples.





You also already know that you shouldn't even be depleting all of your cash reserves (i.e., your regular savings account, as opposed to your 401K or IRA) -- what if one of you loses your jobs? What if one of you needs emergency medical care? What if the roof starts leaking? Those unexpected expenditures are what your credit cards (carrying no balance) are for, and what your second mortgage or line of credit are for. But you know that already. :-)





My best advice really goes toward attitude: don't deviate from your budget just to make others (besides you and your fiance) happy. If you decide to forego an open bar because of cost, do it, don't apologize for it, and don't give it another thought. Ditto if you decide to skip giving out trinkets and jordan almonds, or if you decide to rent a gown.





Congrats on your marriage, and good luck and best wishes on your planning!
we'll be paying for our wedding by ourselves too. our budget is around $5,000, and most of that (if not all) will be covered by our tax return that year. whatever's left over will be covered by the cash we're saving, and we'll only use credit cards as a last resort for unexpected expenses. we've been working very hard on our credit, and we've agreed that the last thing we need is to go into debt over our wedding. to keep our budget low, we're doing just about everything ourselves. the ceremony and reception will be at a family members home, big beautiful place in the country with a lake. my dress is going to be bought from an online store that sells gowns for a fraction of what bridal stores cost, i'll just hire someone locally to do the alterations. our daughters' dresses will be bought right after easter when all the easter dresses go on sale. we're ordering flowers in bulk from sams club and costco and having a family friend do our bouquets and arrangements as our wedding gift. we're doing almost everything DIY, including decorations, food, programs, ect. my sister will be our officiant at no cost, his brother will play acoustic guitar during our ceremony, we're having a friend dj, i have another friend that's a pastry chef who's doing our cakes just for the cost of ingredients. basically it's all about your connections, and you need to approach each aspect of your wedding thinking ';how can i make this myself for a cheaper price?'; it also pays off to spend a lot of time in wedding forums like this, i can't even tell you how many helpful websites and ideas i've gotten from here.
Regardless of who is paying, I suggest putting all deposits - and the remaining balances - on credit cards if possible. Doing this allows you to dispute any issues you may have - which do come up on occasion. Try to pay as little as possible with cash or check because you won't be able to get those monies back if anything were to happen - act of God or otherwise.





A lot of couples are choosing to take out loans to give them the freedom of booking vendors when they find one, etc and not waiting until their next pay check. Others have been saving over years to prepare for their coming nuptials, so the funds are also there when they need them. A lot of couples are getting married later in life, when they are already financially established and have expendable income, so paying for things isn't as much of an issue as if they would have gotten married young.
We just did - about 25K for 200 people. We did not put anything on credit cards, nor withdraw from our pension funds, and we were renters. We only lived together after we were married.


We were engaged about eight months, so it was a matter or paying for things as we went along - invitations one month, wedding gown the next, etc. Made lots of lists and stuck to them!


We both were mature, independent working people and just made it work. It was our joy to do so, and we had a fabulous wedding day, and have had a wonderful marriage!
I guess you can charge it, maybe take a loan out with a bank (if you have some sort of collatrel). Do whatever makes you happy and you feel comfortable with.
We didn't start working out the details until after we had assessed our budget. We're professionals in our early 30's, and each had some stocks that have been doing really well. We also have been saving money. We decided that we could comfortably spend $10,000 with a little extra to spare without having to go into any debt or drain our investments. We're still trying to keep it under $5000, just because (no offense) spending any more than that seems impractical.
You seem to be asking if there's any way to get money other than to save it or borrow it or have it given to you. If there was, we'd all know about it. People paying for weddings either save the money up front or take out some kind of loan to pay for it (a bad idea, if you ask me). There is no other way to get money. We're using prior savings and cutting back on expenses to build up ';the wedding fund'; to pay for ours.
An equity loan on the house could work... I wouldn't advise it, though. Any form of credit you use for this wedding will have you paying for years to come.





My wedding only cost about $5000.00 so it was doable with a small bank loan.
20,000 on a wedding. That is ridiculous. I would chunck the wedding book hit the city hall and spend a month or two just me and my new hubby visiting all the places we've dreamed of.
Hon, you gave yourself all the answers. Although I will say this, anyone who puts it on a charge card, taps the 401K or refinances their house to get married is just stupid. You shouldn't go into major debt to get married. Have a dessert reception instead of dinner. I'm sure you don't want to hear it but don't spend as much, save for it, or cut back the guest list. Those are the ways that grown ups save on their weddign expenses.
They get second jobs. My co-worker is a nutritionist, but to earn xtra dollars for her wedding, she took a temp waitressing job at night to finance her 300 people wedding.
I don't really get your question then. The ways people pay for things are with savings, or on credit (home loan, personal loan, credit cards, etc) People do all of those things to pay for their weddings. We're buying things a bit at a time, but since part one of our wedding is a destination wedding, we've put all plane tix, etc on the credit card, since that's the only way, but they're to be paid in full in 2 months or so...the reception we'll hold in our hometown later will be paid in cash that we've earned. We pay as we go. Neither of us really saved for the wedding.
I wouldn't tell you to cut the guest list or ask mommy and daddy. My DH and I planned and payed for our wedding and didn't ask anyone for nothing. It's expensive no matter which way you look at it. We did it the easy way and still racked up several grand! But here are some tips you may appreciate





For ';party favors'; or w/e give the guests a disposable camera and have everyone take pictures (this way you end up with an awesome scrap/memory album and don't have to pay out the nose for a private photographer)


For the food try and keep it between you and friends/family...they don't have to pay for the wedding but who says you can't put them to work and help you cater!


Rent your wedding gown/tux or buy thrift! This can save you several hundred or even a couple grand right there! And all your brides maids etc should have to also supply their own


Make handmade invitiations instead of fancy customized ones


Make mixed CD's and have a friend bring a nice stereo system instead of hiring a DJ





Hope this helps, these are some of the things I was recommended (and I did a few) and it cut some costs nearly in half or almost out! Best wishes
We are paying for our own wedding but are keeping it small, like 35 guests, but that is our decision and means it is a manageable amount to save up (around $4000 US Dollars), neither of us was interested in having a huge wedding, and neither of us wanted to get into any debt (credit cards, loans etc). We also took in a lodger and saved her rent money towards the wedding. That was what worked for us, I don't know why people are slating you for spending 拢20000 on a wedding, it is your life and up to you what you do with your money, if you can afford it then great, or if you are putting it on credit and paying it off that's your choice to make, not anyone else's.
We scaled back. We went to Vegas. This was ten years ago. We had a good omen when we got married there. As we were waiting a couple that got married their arrived with their children as a chance to remember their past. After ten years we find out that what was more important than a beautiful ceremony was the ten years.
You could always take a loan out from the bank, if you insist on spending so much money on your wedding. I dont suggest putting it on a credit card, seeing as how you would be paying outragous intrest if you did.
Well me and my hubby to be, just put some money back when we got engaged but we didn't set a date yet or nothing and just saved. Then when we set the date we had pretty much e'thing almost paid for minus a few lil things, but we payed for it all w/o taking out a loan, using credit cards or anything like that. You've gotta be smart in planning is all.





We both work really hard for e'thing we got and we are proud to pay for our owen wedding w/o anyone's help.
Before marriage I already thought it was important to save for my own wedding, home, etc. So I came into the relationship with savings. I didn't wait to save until I met my wife. I had stock in my company, it was bought out right after we became engaged. I had been investing 15% of my salary a year in it, and another 15% in my 401k before marriage. The stock helped with the renovations that went over budget.





Now I am married and the nest egg is gone. I still have my 401k.





Certain people live for today, and some plan for the future. Somewhere in between is a happy medium.
The best is to 2nd mortgage house, because at least you can deduct mortgage interest on your income tax.





Honestly, I don't think people really enjoy going to other peoples weddings, So ..........
Most of my friends just wait til they have enough money but I heard that people just open their ';gifts'; at the end of dinner and pay for it then (kind of embarassing but I guess they'd have to do it when everyone leaves)





FYI: My husband and I are tapping in our stock purchase plan and borrowing from our 401k to buy a house (almost relevent)
My sister and her fiance just cut a lot of spending habits out and started saving from the moment that her fiance proposed. Don't get a coffee every day, bag your lunch, don't go shopping every weekend for clothes you don't need. Making a budget first is probably the best way to save money.





$1000 per month in a year, each would be about what you're looking to save.





*Part-time jobs are helpful


*Saving up as much as possible and then seeing where you are


*Figuring out how much you're spending at most and see where you can cut costs...it's pretty easy to save at least a couple thousand dollars by doing your own invites, possibly not doing favors, cutting the guest list down, doing an off-season wedding, not going designer on your dresses, etc.
You may say this isn't the answer you wanted, but this is truly what we did. We saved our money! We cut back on our spending! It's as simple as that.





I can't belive that people would go to the extremes that you listed to pay for one day. People really need to be realistic about their wedding plans. No one should have a wedding that is so extravagant that they need to pay for it with a credit card (with 18% interest), cut into their retirement savings, or refinance a house!





Just figure out your wedding budget, divide that by how many months you have to save up your money before the wedding, and you'll get how much you need to save each month. Then figure out how to cut that much money out of your spending each month. You could go out to eat less, not spend money on cable, get a second job, etc. If it isn't possible to save that much each month, then you need to cut costs for your wedding.





Paying for your own wedding is the first step in being a financially responsible husband and wife. Please don't pay for your wedding by using a credit card, tapping your 401K, or refinancing your home!
My fiance and I bought a house and got engaged last year. We set the wedding date 2 1/2 years afterward so we could save as much as possible and it seems to be working. We set our budget at $10,000 and are sticking to it. We put aside an amount we can afford into a savings account every month. If we remained disciplined, we will not end up in too much debt by the end of the wedding.





If saving is not going to be easy for you and you absolutely must have your dream day, I would recommend taking out a Personal Line of Credit; They offer lower interest rates then credit cards and are benefical for people who are not able to pay their debt off quickly. If you and your fiance have decent incomes, good credit ratings, and are not burdened with debt already, applying for a $20,000 PLC shouldn't be a problem.





Good luck.
Is it the wedding you want or the marriage...because remember, you will be paying off charges and credit during your marriage...if it's your marriage that is important, you may want to consider a cheaper wedding......for the benefit of the marriage......most marriages that fail......have something to do with money! I can totally understand wanting a special day and everything to be perfect, but is it him...is it the passionate kiss after you say I do that you are looking forward to, or is it the wedding and how big you can make it?
we are just paying for things one at a time! First we paid for the hall and then a deposit on the caterer! We have our cententerpieces because they went on sale and we had a coupon! We just found less expensive things to do! However we did use our discover card alot because it has the lowest interest rate! I mean we didn't max it out but all the small things we put on it! We also took 1,000.00 out of our 401k to pay for the deposit of our honeymoon! We went through BJSVacations.com! If you do take money out of your 401k remember you are paying yourself interest back so its not to bad of an idea! Good Luck! We aren't getting married till April and still have alot to pay for! Congrats
I put some on credit cars, some just came out of each pay check and then we were also on a tight bugett. I had a beautiful wedding, a out door reception with a 60x60 tent, 150+ people, food for all of them, DJ, 3 tier cake, party favors, linens the whole works for under 5 grand. I did not see any reason to spend more than that. After all, it is just one day.
From the money they got from the guests. In alot of cultures guests don t bring gifts but money.
Well cutting into your retirement or putting yourself in debt is not the smartest idea. It's one day. It will take years to get back to your current financial situation if you go that route. We are paying for it ourselves and using CASH that we can afford. It's only going to cost $3,000 including the rings and it is still a beautiful wedding. I would definitely reconsider your choices of payment.
Lol trying to spend 20k on a wedding is both cheap and unrealistic...





my 16th birthday spent more then that.. come on!